Original Paragraph:
In the early 1400s, Italy was not a united country. Instead, it was made up of five ruling cities: Florence, Naples, Venice, Milan, and the Papal States (which were run by the pope). We call them city-states because they controlled large amounts of surrounding land and because they operated almost like small countries. The Medici, who directed the affairs of Florence, were like the rulers of a small country.
Now I am going to do an add-on to this paragraph:
The Italian city-states competed in lots of ways. Including their artwork, and their living style.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Week 24-Maya, Aztecs, and Incas
Original Paragraph:
Centuries before Europeans came to the New World, great civilizations had already arisen in Central and South America-the civilizations of the Maya, Aztecs, and Incas. The Maya, in Central America, were the earliest of the three, starting as far back as 500 B.C. The Aztecs developed their empire much later, and flourished in what is now central Mexico. The Incas thrived about the same time as the Aztecs, and lived in the Andes Mountains of South America. In this section you will learn about these great early civilizations, and about several smaller Native American cities in the lands that would become the United States, inhabited by peoples who were here long before the Europeans started their small settlements at Jamestown and St. Augustine.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this Paragraph:
This is a very good paragraph, and it has lots of information. It is a very nice paragraph and now I know more of these civilizations.
Centuries before Europeans came to the New World, great civilizations had already arisen in Central and South America-the civilizations of the Maya, Aztecs, and Incas. The Maya, in Central America, were the earliest of the three, starting as far back as 500 B.C. The Aztecs developed their empire much later, and flourished in what is now central Mexico. The Incas thrived about the same time as the Aztecs, and lived in the Andes Mountains of South America. In this section you will learn about these great early civilizations, and about several smaller Native American cities in the lands that would become the United States, inhabited by peoples who were here long before the Europeans started their small settlements at Jamestown and St. Augustine.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this Paragraph:
This is a very good paragraph, and it has lots of information. It is a very nice paragraph and now I know more of these civilizations.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Week 24-Gods and Goddesses
Original Paragraph:
Zeus was the king of the gods. The Romans called him Jupiter. He controlled the heavens, and decided disputes among the gods. The ancient Greeks and Romans thought that when there was lightning and thunder it was the god Zeus (Jupiter) throwing a mighty thunderbolt!
Now I am going to do an Imitation of this paragraph:
The sun god was called Apollo. He would bring the sun across the sky in his golden chariot everyday. He let his horses rest in the night so that they would be able to run the next morning.
Zeus was the king of the gods. The Romans called him Jupiter. He controlled the heavens, and decided disputes among the gods. The ancient Greeks and Romans thought that when there was lightning and thunder it was the god Zeus (Jupiter) throwing a mighty thunderbolt!
Now I am going to do an Imitation of this paragraph:
The sun god was called Apollo. He would bring the sun across the sky in his golden chariot everyday. He let his horses rest in the night so that they would be able to run the next morning.
Week 24-A Dark Time
Original Paragraph:
After the Mexican war, the country stretched from ocean to ocean, but difficult times were ahead. Many people were so against slavery that they did not want new territories to have slaves. Other people wanted slavery to be stopped everywhere in the country. This conflict led to a war, not against another country like Mexico, but between two groups of states inside our country. It was called the Civil War. Abraham Lincoln was President, and he ledthe country through the worst time in our history. Many American lives were lost in that war.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of the paragraph:
This paragraph is a very well-thought out writing sample, and it is structured well, but i really don't care too much for the concluding sentence. It has some very good information in it, and all together it is a very good paragraph.
After the Mexican war, the country stretched from ocean to ocean, but difficult times were ahead. Many people were so against slavery that they did not want new territories to have slaves. Other people wanted slavery to be stopped everywhere in the country. This conflict led to a war, not against another country like Mexico, but between two groups of states inside our country. It was called the Civil War. Abraham Lincoln was President, and he ledthe country through the worst time in our history. Many American lives were lost in that war.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of the paragraph:
This paragraph is a very well-thought out writing sample, and it is structured well, but i really don't care too much for the concluding sentence. It has some very good information in it, and all together it is a very good paragraph.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Week 23-Snow Boarding
Original Paragraph:
What exciting recreational activity beckons you whenever you have free time on your hands? Different individuals handle this lull in the action of their lives in a variety of ways. For example, some squander the time as "couch potatoes," while others choose to become involved in pastimes that are either physically or mentally stimulating. Currently one particular actvity, snowboarding, had become one of the world's favorite recreations. When an individual acquires the necessary equipment, discovers a suitable location, and masters basic skills, snowboarding becomes an enjoyable pastime.
Now I am going to do an imitaition of this paragraph:
Another exciting recreational activity would be swimming. Even though people can only really go to the lake about 3 months of the year, people can go to an indoor heated pool. It is really good exercise, even if you are just playing around. You don't even have to have any equipment, aside from a swimsuit. You don't really have to know how to swim, if you go into the shallow part of the pool. I would recommend that you know how to swim before going into the lake because you never know if there is going to be any deep holes. Even concerning all the precautions you have to take before swimming, swimming is pretty much for everyone.
What exciting recreational activity beckons you whenever you have free time on your hands? Different individuals handle this lull in the action of their lives in a variety of ways. For example, some squander the time as "couch potatoes," while others choose to become involved in pastimes that are either physically or mentally stimulating. Currently one particular actvity, snowboarding, had become one of the world's favorite recreations. When an individual acquires the necessary equipment, discovers a suitable location, and masters basic skills, snowboarding becomes an enjoyable pastime.
Now I am going to do an imitaition of this paragraph:
Another exciting recreational activity would be swimming. Even though people can only really go to the lake about 3 months of the year, people can go to an indoor heated pool. It is really good exercise, even if you are just playing around. You don't even have to have any equipment, aside from a swimsuit. You don't really have to know how to swim, if you go into the shallow part of the pool. I would recommend that you know how to swim before going into the lake because you never know if there is going to be any deep holes. Even concerning all the precautions you have to take before swimming, swimming is pretty much for everyone.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Week 23-See's Candies
Original Paragraph:
See's dark chocolate has a rich deep brown-almost black-color with a high-gloss shine. Light reflects off the chocolate much as it would off a mirror. The aroma of See's dark chocolate is pungent, with notes of chocolate fudge and vanilla in the bouquet. And there is a distinctive "snap" felt when biting into it.
Now for my add-on:
I definately agree with this paragraph!!!!!I LOVE See's candies. It smells SO good and tastes absaloutely heavenly. I think that See' s candies are the best chocolate in the world!!!!
See's dark chocolate has a rich deep brown-almost black-color with a high-gloss shine. Light reflects off the chocolate much as it would off a mirror. The aroma of See's dark chocolate is pungent, with notes of chocolate fudge and vanilla in the bouquet. And there is a distinctive "snap" felt when biting into it.
Now for my add-on:
I definately agree with this paragraph!!!!!I LOVE See's candies. It smells SO good and tastes absaloutely heavenly. I think that See' s candies are the best chocolate in the world!!!!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Week 23-Communication
Original Paragraph:
Communication today is better than that of the early 1900's based on variety, cost, and dependability. In the early 1900's there were only a few forms of communication. The postal service, the telegraph, and the newly developed telephone were the primary options. The mail and telegraph were resonably inexpensive, and thus affordable for the average person. The new telephone, however, was more expensive, and mostly used by the upper class. These forms of communication were also not very dependable. The mail service was slow, the telegraph lines could be down, and the telephone often had bad reception. In contrast to the past, communication today offers many options. Telephones, cell phones, e-mail, Internet, facsimile (fax), as well as the postal service are the most commonly used forms of communication today. All of these are fairly inexpensive, and in the case of e-mail and Internet, often free. Also, these forms of communication are very dependable and speedy. Although servers may crash or telephones may be out, overall the modern person can usually depend on any of these types. When looking at communication, past and present, in the light of these three criteria, communication today is definately superior.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:
This paragraph is very good in the information sense, but it has alot of repetition in it. Some of the sentences say almost the exact thing only in different words. This person is a very good writer he/she just needs to learn how to consolidate. Also, when he/she is talking about the free internet, that is WRONG information, because everyone has to pay for an internet service.
Communication today is better than that of the early 1900's based on variety, cost, and dependability. In the early 1900's there were only a few forms of communication. The postal service, the telegraph, and the newly developed telephone were the primary options. The mail and telegraph were resonably inexpensive, and thus affordable for the average person. The new telephone, however, was more expensive, and mostly used by the upper class. These forms of communication were also not very dependable. The mail service was slow, the telegraph lines could be down, and the telephone often had bad reception. In contrast to the past, communication today offers many options. Telephones, cell phones, e-mail, Internet, facsimile (fax), as well as the postal service are the most commonly used forms of communication today. All of these are fairly inexpensive, and in the case of e-mail and Internet, often free. Also, these forms of communication are very dependable and speedy. Although servers may crash or telephones may be out, overall the modern person can usually depend on any of these types. When looking at communication, past and present, in the light of these three criteria, communication today is definately superior.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:
This paragraph is very good in the information sense, but it has alot of repetition in it. Some of the sentences say almost the exact thing only in different words. This person is a very good writer he/she just needs to learn how to consolidate. Also, when he/she is talking about the free internet, that is WRONG information, because everyone has to pay for an internet service.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Week 23-Anne Shirley
Original Paragraph:
Anne Shirley is a character in a book entitled Anne of Green Gables. Anne possesses an unbelievable imagination. She is always dreaming of herself as being royalty. She is an orphan, so she imagines having a family. Anne is also stubborn and willful. She struggles with accepting her apearance. Her red hair and freckles bother her and she wishes for a more glamorous appearance. Anne's flair for the dramatic gets her into positive and negative situations. Sometimes her dramatics lead to others thinking she is in crisis. Anne also has opportunity to deliver dramtic poetry. Finally, Anne is a loyal and loving person. She is loyal and appreciative of Marilla and Matthew who have taken her into their home. Anne is a fun girl whom many readers have come to love.
Now I am going to do an imitation of this paragraph:
Pocahontas is a character in the Disney movie "Pocahontas." She is a native American who trusts her native spirits with her future. She loves to imagine things and has a dificulty in her life. Her father wants her to marry a certain native American but she doesn't like him. She likes to be free as the wind and loves her pets. She falls in love with an Englishman and he has to leave...but she is still loyal to him even though he is gone. Pocahontas is very wonderful story that most people will enjoy.
Anne Shirley is a character in a book entitled Anne of Green Gables. Anne possesses an unbelievable imagination. She is always dreaming of herself as being royalty. She is an orphan, so she imagines having a family. Anne is also stubborn and willful. She struggles with accepting her apearance. Her red hair and freckles bother her and she wishes for a more glamorous appearance. Anne's flair for the dramatic gets her into positive and negative situations. Sometimes her dramatics lead to others thinking she is in crisis. Anne also has opportunity to deliver dramtic poetry. Finally, Anne is a loyal and loving person. She is loyal and appreciative of Marilla and Matthew who have taken her into their home. Anne is a fun girl whom many readers have come to love.
Now I am going to do an imitation of this paragraph:
Pocahontas is a character in the Disney movie "Pocahontas." She is a native American who trusts her native spirits with her future. She loves to imagine things and has a dificulty in her life. Her father wants her to marry a certain native American but she doesn't like him. She likes to be free as the wind and loves her pets. She falls in love with an Englishman and he has to leave...but she is still loyal to him even though he is gone. Pocahontas is very wonderful story that most people will enjoy.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Week 22-Horses and Ponies
Original Paragraph:
Good horsemanship is based on common sense and tact, and whenever you are around horses, you need to exercise both. Before attempting to mount your horse, you must get into the habit of checking all your tack to see that it is secure and safe, and that your girth is sufficiently tight. If you are taking riding lessons, and your horse has already been tacked up for you, you must still check that everything is secure; do not rely on someone else having done this for you.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:
This paragraph tells us alot about staying safe and secure. I think that this paragraph is aa very good lesson for someone who doesn't know alot about writing and needs some information. This is very good advice for when you are mounting a horse.
Good horsemanship is based on common sense and tact, and whenever you are around horses, you need to exercise both. Before attempting to mount your horse, you must get into the habit of checking all your tack to see that it is secure and safe, and that your girth is sufficiently tight. If you are taking riding lessons, and your horse has already been tacked up for you, you must still check that everything is secure; do not rely on someone else having done this for you.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:
This paragraph tells us alot about staying safe and secure. I think that this paragraph is aa very good lesson for someone who doesn't know alot about writing and needs some information. This is very good advice for when you are mounting a horse.
Week 22-The Winter'sTale
Original Paragraph:
Leontes, king of Sicily, and his queen, the beautiful and virtuous Hermione, once lived in the greatest harmony together. So happy was Leontes in the love of this excellent lady, that he had no wish ungratified, except that he sometimes desired to see again, and to present to his queen, his old companion and school-fellow, Polixenes, king of Bohemia. Leontes and Polixenes were brought up together from their infancy, but being by the death of their fathers called to reign over their respective kingdoms, they had not met for many years, though they frequently interchanged gifts, letters, and loving embassies.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:
This is alot better that the Midsummer Nights Dream one, I think. The sentences are better and it's easier to read. It's a little more interesting knowing that the two kings are friends and it makes you wonder if everything will get straightened out or not.
Leontes, king of Sicily, and his queen, the beautiful and virtuous Hermione, once lived in the greatest harmony together. So happy was Leontes in the love of this excellent lady, that he had no wish ungratified, except that he sometimes desired to see again, and to present to his queen, his old companion and school-fellow, Polixenes, king of Bohemia. Leontes and Polixenes were brought up together from their infancy, but being by the death of their fathers called to reign over their respective kingdoms, they had not met for many years, though they frequently interchanged gifts, letters, and loving embassies.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:
This is alot better that the Midsummer Nights Dream one, I think. The sentences are better and it's easier to read. It's a little more interesting knowing that the two kings are friends and it makes you wonder if everything will get straightened out or not.
Week 22-Midsummer Night's Dream
Original Paragraph:
There was a law in the city of Athens, which gave to its citizens the power of compelling their daghters to whomsoever they pleased: for upon a daughter's refusing to marry the man her father had chosen to be her husband, the father was empowered by this law to cause her to be put to death; but as fathers do not often desire the death of their own daughters, even though they do happen to prove a little refractory, this law was seldom or never put in execution, though perhaps the young ladies of that city were not unfrequently threatened by their parents with the terrors of it.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:
I think that this is a very good paragraph in that it explains the law, but it has a VERY long run-on sentence in explaining the law. It makes me run out of breath just readig it. I think that Shakespeare needs to learn to break up his sentences a little better.
There was a law in the city of Athens, which gave to its citizens the power of compelling their daghters to whomsoever they pleased: for upon a daughter's refusing to marry the man her father had chosen to be her husband, the father was empowered by this law to cause her to be put to death; but as fathers do not often desire the death of their own daughters, even though they do happen to prove a little refractory, this law was seldom or never put in execution, though perhaps the young ladies of that city were not unfrequently threatened by their parents with the terrors of it.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:
I think that this is a very good paragraph in that it explains the law, but it has a VERY long run-on sentence in explaining the law. It makes me run out of breath just readig it. I think that Shakespeare needs to learn to break up his sentences a little better.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Week 22-The Frog Prince
Long ago, when wishes often came true, there lived a King whose daughters were all handsome, but the youngest was so beautiful that the sun himself, who has seen everything, was bemused every time he shone over her because of her beauty. Near the royal castle there was a great dark wood, and in the wood under an old linden tree was a well; and when the day was hot, the King's daughter used to go forth into the wood and sit by the brink of the cool well, and if the time seemed long, she wouls take out a golden ball, and throw it up and catch it again , and this was her favorite pastime.
Now I am going to do a continuation of this story:
Now our story shall turn around in the sense that the princess has now kissed the frog and she fell in love with the prince that it became. Now the princess's daughter, named Beyonca, was sleeping in a hammok one day and woke up to find a frog laying on her stomach. She screamed and the frog slowly opened its eyes. It turned out that the frog was aching for love and all the girl frogs in his pond didn't like him. So the princess decided to like the frog because she felt sorry for him and she thought he was pretty cute. So in the end they were a happy couple and everything turned out good.
Now I am going to do a continuation of this story:
Now our story shall turn around in the sense that the princess has now kissed the frog and she fell in love with the prince that it became. Now the princess's daughter, named Beyonca, was sleeping in a hammok one day and woke up to find a frog laying on her stomach. She screamed and the frog slowly opened its eyes. It turned out that the frog was aching for love and all the girl frogs in his pond didn't like him. So the princess decided to like the frog because she felt sorry for him and she thought he was pretty cute. So in the end they were a happy couple and everything turned out good.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Week 21-The Sovereign's Daughter
Original Paragraph:
The whole of Russia had gone mad. And if Anton Klassen didn't get off this stalled passenger train soon, he feared he would join his comrades in their race toward insanity. He had lost all feeling in his right arm long ago, pinned by a sleeping soldier's bobbing head of greasy black hair. He nudged his elbow into the side of the snoring, vodka-reeking man who'd made a pillow of Anton's shoulder, but he failed to disodge the parasite. At least his seatmate couldn't ask questions while he slept.
Now I am going to do an analysis of this paragraph:
I think that this paragraph is actually pretty interesting, and by the time that you are done reading it, you want to know what happened to Anton. I especially like the description and humor skills that this person has, for example, when he describes the soldier I can just see him there, laying on his shoulder. This person also uses humor when he calls the soldier a "Parasite." I thought that that was pretty funny myself. In my opinion, this is a wonderful way to start a book.
The whole of Russia had gone mad. And if Anton Klassen didn't get off this stalled passenger train soon, he feared he would join his comrades in their race toward insanity. He had lost all feeling in his right arm long ago, pinned by a sleeping soldier's bobbing head of greasy black hair. He nudged his elbow into the side of the snoring, vodka-reeking man who'd made a pillow of Anton's shoulder, but he failed to disodge the parasite. At least his seatmate couldn't ask questions while he slept.
Now I am going to do an analysis of this paragraph:
I think that this paragraph is actually pretty interesting, and by the time that you are done reading it, you want to know what happened to Anton. I especially like the description and humor skills that this person has, for example, when he describes the soldier I can just see him there, laying on his shoulder. This person also uses humor when he calls the soldier a "Parasite." I thought that that was pretty funny myself. In my opinion, this is a wonderful way to start a book.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Week 21-A Paragraph out of My Mom's Book
Original Paragraph:
Rick Dockery was the third-string quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. In the AFC Championship game against Denver, to the surprise and dismay of virtually everyone, Rick actually got in the game. With a 17-point lead and just minutes to go, Rick provided what was arguably the worst single performance in the history of NFL. Overnight, he became a national laughingstock, and, of course, was immediately cut by the Browns and shunned by all other teams.
Now I am going to do an analysis of this person's writing.
The first sentence is pretty good..but maybe it needs a little more detail. This paragraph tells us a lot of information about Rick and then talks about how his life is going right now. It doesn't really resolve his problem or tell us where he's going, it just leaves us hanging. But in one way that's good, because, considering that this is an inside flap of a book, it's purpose is to get readers interested and want to read more. This paragraph could have a little more detail, but it's actually pretty good the way it is.
Rick Dockery was the third-string quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. In the AFC Championship game against Denver, to the surprise and dismay of virtually everyone, Rick actually got in the game. With a 17-point lead and just minutes to go, Rick provided what was arguably the worst single performance in the history of NFL. Overnight, he became a national laughingstock, and, of course, was immediately cut by the Browns and shunned by all other teams.
Now I am going to do an analysis of this person's writing.
The first sentence is pretty good..but maybe it needs a little more detail. This paragraph tells us a lot of information about Rick and then talks about how his life is going right now. It doesn't really resolve his problem or tell us where he's going, it just leaves us hanging. But in one way that's good, because, considering that this is an inside flap of a book, it's purpose is to get readers interested and want to read more. This paragraph could have a little more detail, but it's actually pretty good the way it is.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Week 21-Thanksgiving Dinner
Original Paragraph:
Thanksgiving is a national hoiday, which comes once a year, when friends and family come together to share a delicious meal. The main dish is the roasted turkey. It's dark meat is course, and the light meat is tender. Tasty, cornbread stuffing accompanies the turkey. A light, brown gravy and fluffy, white, mashed potatoes accompanies the main course. However, the gravy served this year was far too salty for the taste buds of the diners. Maroon-colored, jellied cranberries jiggled on a bed of crisp lettuce as it was past. Diners could hardly wait to sample it's tart flavor alongside the salty gravy. Fresh dinner rolls were slathered with butter and jelly by the delighted diners. Steamed vegetables of broccoli and cauliflower added some color, while the tossed and fruit salads added more splashes of color to the meal. There is the pumpkin pie, cinnamon rolls, apple pie, and homemade ice cream for dessert. What a delicious meal the Smith family shares together each year!
Now I am going to write an imitation of this paragraph.
Every Easter Sunday my church has a wonderful potluck dinner. Lots of different people come, so there's usually a big variety in the wonderful food. It ranges from steaming hot casseroles to creamy, sweet pies. When one goes through the line to get food, one usually gets a main dish first. There is usually lots of casseroles and fried chicken. There is also soup and chili which is sometimes spicy. Then one slowly moves to the middle of the tables loaded with tons of wonderful food, and one loads up on cold fruit, crisp veggies, and warm, homemade rolls smothered in butter. By this time, one doesn't have anymore room on their plate, so they find a place to sit among the sea of tables. Once they find a seat by some of their friends, the commense to chatting and eating their delicious meal. After they are full, they convince themselves that they aren't and go to find the dessert table. They slowly walk there and take in all of the cookies, pies, cakes, and other miscellanious wonderful things. They load up on dessert and finally they are satisfied. As one can see, this potluck is certainly wonderful for the tastebuds and social life.
Thanksgiving is a national hoiday, which comes once a year, when friends and family come together to share a delicious meal. The main dish is the roasted turkey. It's dark meat is course, and the light meat is tender. Tasty, cornbread stuffing accompanies the turkey. A light, brown gravy and fluffy, white, mashed potatoes accompanies the main course. However, the gravy served this year was far too salty for the taste buds of the diners. Maroon-colored, jellied cranberries jiggled on a bed of crisp lettuce as it was past. Diners could hardly wait to sample it's tart flavor alongside the salty gravy. Fresh dinner rolls were slathered with butter and jelly by the delighted diners. Steamed vegetables of broccoli and cauliflower added some color, while the tossed and fruit salads added more splashes of color to the meal. There is the pumpkin pie, cinnamon rolls, apple pie, and homemade ice cream for dessert. What a delicious meal the Smith family shares together each year!
Now I am going to write an imitation of this paragraph.
Every Easter Sunday my church has a wonderful potluck dinner. Lots of different people come, so there's usually a big variety in the wonderful food. It ranges from steaming hot casseroles to creamy, sweet pies. When one goes through the line to get food, one usually gets a main dish first. There is usually lots of casseroles and fried chicken. There is also soup and chili which is sometimes spicy. Then one slowly moves to the middle of the tables loaded with tons of wonderful food, and one loads up on cold fruit, crisp veggies, and warm, homemade rolls smothered in butter. By this time, one doesn't have anymore room on their plate, so they find a place to sit among the sea of tables. Once they find a seat by some of their friends, the commense to chatting and eating their delicious meal. After they are full, they convince themselves that they aren't and go to find the dessert table. They slowly walk there and take in all of the cookies, pies, cakes, and other miscellanious wonderful things. They load up on dessert and finally they are satisfied. As one can see, this potluck is certainly wonderful for the tastebuds and social life.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Week 21-Pearl Harbor
Original Paragraph:
"On December 7, 1941, the uneasy peace is shattered as the Japanese carrier fleet launches a surprise attack on Pearl Harbor and the island of Oahu. Within thirty minutes, the power of the United States Pacific Fleet is devastated. By the end of the attack, seven battleships are damaged or sunk, half the aircraft on the island are wiped out and 2,400 American lives are lost."
I am now going to do a continuation of this paragraph (Mine is going to be made up):
Now even though all of these lives are lost, there is still hope for the Americans, General Shamrock is here to save the day. He has a lot of money and is going to restore all of the damages done and is going to buy all new planes and aircraft carriers. He is even going to send over a large fleet of soldiers from his native land, Ireland. They are all willing to help in the fight and are glad to share food and shelter with the wounded soldiers. The fight is now going to turn out wonderfully if only General Shamrock's men can fight it out.
"On December 7, 1941, the uneasy peace is shattered as the Japanese carrier fleet launches a surprise attack on Pearl Harbor and the island of Oahu. Within thirty minutes, the power of the United States Pacific Fleet is devastated. By the end of the attack, seven battleships are damaged or sunk, half the aircraft on the island are wiped out and 2,400 American lives are lost."
I am now going to do a continuation of this paragraph (Mine is going to be made up):
Now even though all of these lives are lost, there is still hope for the Americans, General Shamrock is here to save the day. He has a lot of money and is going to restore all of the damages done and is going to buy all new planes and aircraft carriers. He is even going to send over a large fleet of soldiers from his native land, Ireland. They are all willing to help in the fight and are glad to share food and shelter with the wounded soldiers. The fight is now going to turn out wonderfully if only General Shamrock's men can fight it out.
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