Week 23-Communication

Original Paragraph:

Communication today is better than that of the early 1900's based on variety, cost, and dependability. In the early 1900's there were only a few forms of communication. The postal service, the telegraph, and the newly developed telephone were the primary options. The mail and telegraph were resonably inexpensive, and thus affordable for the average person. The new telephone, however, was more expensive, and mostly used by the upper class. These forms of communication were also not very dependable. The mail service was slow, the telegraph lines could be down, and the telephone often had bad reception. In contrast to the past, communication today offers many options. Telephones, cell phones, e-mail, Internet, facsimile (fax), as well as the postal service are the most commonly used forms of communication today. All of these are fairly inexpensive, and in the case of e-mail and Internet, often free. Also, these forms of communication are very dependable and speedy. Although servers may crash or telephones may be out, overall the modern person can usually depend on any of these types. When looking at communication, past and present, in the light of these three criteria, communication today is definately superior.

Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:

This paragraph is very good in the information sense, but it has alot of repetition in it. Some of the sentences say almost the exact thing only in different words. This person is a very good writer he/she just needs to learn how to consolidate. Also, when he/she is talking about the free internet, that is WRONG information, because everyone has to pay for an internet service.