Original Paragraph:
One fine summer morning they went, as they often did, to the beach to view the sun rise upon the water. This is always a grand sight, but this morning they thought the sun seemed to shine with more splendor than it had done for the past week.
Now I am going to re-write this paragraph with richer detail:
One bright, hot summer morning, Tom and Jerry went, as they often did, to the sandy beach down Dreary lane to observe the great big ball of fire called the sun rise upon the glittering water. This is always a wonderful sight, but this morning Tom and Jerry thought the sun seemed to shine with more splendor than it had done for the past week.
No comments:
Post a Comment