Excerpt from Captain Blood, Sabatini

Original Paragraph:

The great red ship had drawn considerably nearer shore by now. Slowly, majestically, she was entering the bay. Already one or two wherries were putting off from the wharf to board her. From where he stood, Mr. Blood could see the glinting of the brass cannons mounted on the prow above the curving beak-head, and he could make out the figure of a seaman in the forechains on her larboard side, leaning out to heave the lead.

My Revision:

The great red ship had drawn considerably nearer the rough, rocky shore by now. Slowly, majestically, her sides gleaming with wetness, she entered the formidable bay. Already one or two small rowboats were putting off from the wharf to board the ship. While he stood near the rail, Mr. Blood could see the glinting of the heavy brass cannons, which were mounted on the prow above the curving beak-head. He could also make out the dark figure of a seaman in the forechains on her larboard side, leaning out to heave the lead.

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