The Minpins

Original Paragraph:

Little Billy's mother was always telling him exactly what he was allowed to do and what he was not allowed to do. All the things he was allowed to do were boring. All the things he was not allowed to do were exciting. One of the things he was NEVER NEVER allowed to do, the most exciting of them all, was to go out through the garden gate all by himself and explore the world beyond.

Now I am going to re-write a few of the sentences and make some comments on the writing style of this paragraph:

Little Billy's mother, a thin woman with a grouchy attitude, was always telling him what he was allowed to do and what he was not allowed to do.

Bored stiff and full of curiosity, Billy wanted to go through the garden gate.

Billy, whose mother was always telling him what to do, was aching for some exitement.

I personally think that this paragraph had so many repeats that it was almost boring, like the writer didn't know what to do. (It's called a filler. I think.)

Red:Participial Phrase
Blue:Prepositional Phrase
Orange:Absolute Phrase
Green: Adjectival Clause