Original Paragraph:
Beginning in 1054, Hildebrand, also known as Gregory VII, undertook a series of diplomatic missions to France and Germany. He was the deciding influence in several papal elections and was responsible for the two most important papal transactions of the time, entrusting the election of popes to the college of cardinals and negotiating an alliance with the Normans.
Now I am going to write an evaluation of this paragraph:
In my opinion this is very boring and dry writing. I know this is meant to inform and not to entertain, but I could still fall asleep reading it. I know it has to be written and we don't always know the details of everything that happened, so it can be challenging to make it interesting. It is kind of like "this is what happened and that's all I have to say about it." But historians have to do what they have to do, so I guess history books will always be the same.
(the words in red are my Apposotive and participial phrases for the week.)
1 comment:
I agree with you. This is deadly. Fortunately, history does not *have* to be written this way! I think good history books are good stories. When the detail isn't available, they make stories out of the search for the detail, or out of the context, or out of whatever story wants to tell itself.
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