Original Paragraph:
Linda was the most beautiful girl in town, and Anansi the spider and Brer Tiger were both in love with her. Brer Tiger figured he had nothing to worry about. With eyes that shone like emeralds and his slick fur coat, he was the most powerful cat around. And Anansi? He was just a puny spider.
Now I am going to re-write this story:
Linda was the most beautiful girl in town, with her beautiful blonde hair down to her shoulders, and Anansi the Spider and Brer Tiger were both in love with her. Brer tiger, sitting in front of his mirror and admiring his strength and beauty, figured he had nothing to worry about. He was the most powerful cat around, his eyes shining like emeralds and his fur shimmering in the sunlight. And Anansi? In the grand scheme of things, he was just a puny spider standing in Brer's way.
Blue:appositive Phrase
Red:Participial phrase
Green:Absolute Phrase
Purple:Prepositional Phrase
1 comment:
Good work, Katie. The only thing I would change is that your appositive phrase is not really an appositive. It would have to lead with a noun to be one. So, "a girl with..." would work.
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