The Pied Piper of Hamelin/The Rapper

Original Paragraph:
The stranger took from his belt a little set of shepherd's pipes, put them to his lips, and began to play a tune. Immediately, the rats on the street pricked up their ears and hurried toward the sound. The stranger began walking toward the edge of town, piping his tune all the while. From every shop, house, and shed all over the town, the rats poured until the streets were filled with them. They followed the piper out of the town and down the road to the edge of the river. Then the rats jumped in and were carried far away by the rushing water.

Now I am going to re-write this paragraph with this week's vocabulary words:
The rapper with his hair in total disarray, and his baggy pants about to fall off his hips, was swaggering down the street in complete oblivion. All of a sudden he began to vacillate! His shoulders started to loosen up and he started to break-dance. He started out just doing moves at random, but then his moves turned in to a sort of configuration. Teenagers started noticing this unbelievably agile dancer and couldn't resist following him. He bopped on down the street toward the local bar, rapping unstoppably. From every apartment, trailer house, and condo, teenagers filled the streets, following his every move. They followed him all the way to the house of the devil. Then the delinquents, being influenced all the while, followed him through the door and thus, steered their lives onto the pathway of destruction.


(My vocabulary words are in red)

Anansi Rides Tiger

Original Paragraph:
Linda was the most beautiful girl in town, and Anansi the spider and Brer Tiger were both in love with her. Brer Tiger figured he had nothing to worry about. With eyes that shone like emeralds and his slick fur coat, he was the most powerful cat around. And Anansi? He was just a puny spider.

Now I am going to re-write this story:

Linda was the most beautiful girl in town, with her beautiful blonde hair down to her shoulders, and Anansi the Spider and Brer Tiger were both in love with her. Brer tiger, sitting in front of his mirror and admiring his strength and beauty, figured he had nothing to worry about. He was the most powerful cat around, his eyes shining like emeralds and his fur shimmering in the sunlight. And Anansi? In the grand scheme of things, he was just a puny spider standing in Brer's way.

Blue:appositive Phrase
Red:Participial phrase
Green:Absolute Phrase
Purple:Prepositional Phrase

Volley Ball Descriptive

Original Paragraph:

If I'd ever feared death before in his presence, it was nothing campared to how I felt now. He streaked through the dark, thick underbrush of the forest like a bullet, like a ghost. There was no sound, no evidence that his feet touched the earth. His breathing never changed, never indicated any effort. But the trees flew by at deadly speeds, always missing us by inches. I was too terrified to close my eyes, though the cool forest air whipped against my face and burned them. I felt as if I were stupidly sticking my head out the window of an airplane flight. And, for the first time in my life, I felt the dizzy faintness of motion sickness.

Now I am going to write an imitation of this paragraph:

SSsssss.....BOOM! That is the sound of the spectators as I send the ball over in a floating serve. The sound of the fans give me energy as I play with all my heart and soul. College volleyball is very challenging and intimidating at times. bam! that is my teammate passing the ball high into the air. Whoosh....that is the sound of the setter taking her job well. Now it is my turn. The ball seems to linger in the air for a few seconds as I wonder what to do. I snap back into reality and jump into the air and slam the ball down on the Ducks' side as hard as I possibly can. BAM! ACE! We win the first match 25,13! Now just comes the suspense of us, the beavers, finally winning the Civil War game!

Ivanhoe

Original Paragraph:

In that pleasant district of merry England which is watered by the river Don, there extended in ancient times a large forest, covering the greater part of the beautiful hills and valleys which lie between extensive Sheffield and the pleasant town of Doncaster. The remains of this extensive wood are still to be seen at the novle seats of Wentworth, of Wharncliffe Park, and around Rotherham. Here haunted of yore the fabulous Dragon of Wantley; here were fought many of the most desperate battles during the Civil Wars of the Roses; and here also flourished in ancient times those bands of gallant outlaws whose deeds have been rendered so popular in English song.

Now I am going to re-write parts of this entry with vocabulary words:

In that keen district of coy England which is watered by the river Don, there extended in ancient times a large forest, covering the greater part of the supple hills and valleys which lie between extensive Sheffield and the pleasant town of Doncaster.