Original Paragraph:
One summer day, a hungry fox saw a fat hen, sitting on a box lid. The fox saw the boy. "Ah" said he, "I can not get a dinner today. If I am not so off, the boy may get me." So, away ran the fox. The sly fox said, "I can get a dinner now," but not so. A big boy saw mister Fox, as he was trying to get the hen, and ran for his gun.
Now I am going to re-write this paragraph more descriptively:
One summer day, which was very hot, a hungry fox, who was very sly, saw a fat hen, sitting on a box lid. The red fox saw the boy. "Ah" said he, "I can not get a dinner today. If I am not so off, the large boy may get me." So, away ran the fox. The sly fox said, "I can get a yummy dinner now," but not so. A big boy saw mister Fox, as he was trying to get the hen, and sprinted for his 22.
The stuff in red is my absolute, appositive, and participial phrases.
1 comment:
Hi, Katie. That first sentence has a participial phrase in it (sitting...), but not an appositive or an absolute. A phrase like "the sun having risen..." would be an absolute, and "the hungry fox, a sly one" contains an appositive ("a sly one"). Have a great Thanksgiving.
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