Monday, October 13, 2008

Musical Mice

Original Paragraph:

On a rainy evening, as I was alone in my room, I took up my flute and began playing a tune. In a few minutes my attention was directed to a mouse that I saw creeping from its hole and advancing to the chair in which I was sitting.

Now I am going to do a continuation of this story:

It ran up the leg of my chair and and asked if he could play my flute. It was very odd at first to hear a mouse talk, but I got used to it. I let him play my flute and he was very good, surprisingly. I insisted that he play professionally, but he just said that he was a very private mouse and scurried back to his hole.

1 comment:

Magistra Z. said...

Cute! The "it" in the first sentence quickly turns to a "he." I wonder if you might want to stick with one or the other. Your paragraph flows nicely.