Original Paragraph:
He turned onto the boardwalk and felt the full impact of the stinging blast from the ocean. Observing the shifting clouds, he decided it wouldn't be surprising if they had a snow flurry later on, even though tomorrow was the first day of spring. It had been a long winter, and everyone said how much they were looking forward to the warm weather ahead. He wasn't.
Now I am going to do an evaluation of this paragraph:
This paragraph is very descriptive and I really love the first sentence. It really makes me feel like i'm there. It feels like the person who is reading it is in the man's brain; that is awesome!
1 comment:
I like the paragraph you chose, too. Your response, however, is too brief and not thoughtful enough. The posts on my blog are a good guide for the length I expect from you.
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