The Lost Quilter

Original Paragraph:
The quarter was not far away. Joanna kept her eyes fixed on the last cabin in the row so that she would not see Aaron's strong copper arm draw back, so she would not see the welts and blood on Leah's back. Aaron's whip was seven feet of cowhide with a sturdy oak handle at one end and a small lead weight on the other, the better to bruise and scar the flesh. Joanna had never felt his whip on her own skin, but she had kissed marks it had left on Titus [her husband.] Another scream; she gasped and kept walking.

~~~

This paragraph describes a scene from a book that focuses on slavery in the South, pre-emancipation times. In this particular scene, Joanna, a slave, is witnessing a beating of another slave, Leah, who had been "insolent" to her mistress and her mistress' fiance. They had ordered her to strip her clothes off in front of her fellow slaves to prove a point and she refused. I had many thoughts running through my head when I read this passage. First, I was sick to my stomach and I wanted to barf. Then, I just wanted to cry. I always knew that slavery was a bad thing, but reading how some of them were actually treated, made me realize that some slave owners and overseers were terrible and inhumane. It was truly an evil practice.

The Prince by Machiavelli

Original Paragraph:
Everyone realizes how praiseworthy it is for a prince to honour his word and to be straightforward rather than crafty in his dealings; none the less contemporary experience shows that princes who have achieved great things have been those who have given their word lightly, who have known how to trick men with their cunning, and who, in the end, have overcome those abiding by honest principles.

Now I am going to re-write this piece with some new vocabulary words:

Everyone realizes how praiseworthy it is for a prince to be guileless and to be straightforward rather than to deviate in his dealings; none the less contemporary experience shows that princes who have achieved great things hand been those who have given their word lightly, who have known how to trick men with their fickleness and rapacious cunning, and who, in the end, have overcome those abiding by honest principles.

I thought it was interesting that this whole paragraph was only one sentence.

Alice in Wonderland

Original Paragraph:
In another moment Alice was through the glass, and jumped lightly down into the Looking-glass room. The very first thing she did was to look whether there was a fire in the fireplace, and she was quite pleased to find that there was a real one, blazing away as brightly as the one she had left behind. "So I shall be as warm here as I was in the old room," thought Alice: "warmer, in fact, because there'll be no one here to scold me away from the fire. Oh, what fun it'll be, when they see me through the glass in here, and can't get at me!"

The following sentence is one I re-wrote to include an appositive and an absolute phrase:

In another moment Alice, her hair flowing behind her, was through the glass, and jumping lightly down into the Looking-glass room, a bright airy space.

I think Lewis Carroll did a great job writing this story. It is very interesting and fun. I think it would be cool to jump through a looking glass.
Prepositional Phrase
Participial Phrase
Absolute Phrase
Appositive Phrase

Fly by Night

Original Paragraph:
The path was a troublesome, fretful thing. It worried that it was missing a view of the opposite hills and insisted on climbing for a better look. Then it found the breeze uncommonly chill and ducked back among the trees. It suddenly thought it had forgotten something and doubled back, then realized that it hadn't and turned about again. At last it struggled free of the pines, plumped itself down by the riverside, complained of its aching stones and refused to go any farther. A sensible, well-trodden track took over.

~~~
This paragraph is an absolute joy to read! This is an excellent example of personification, taking an inanimate object and adding personal characteristics to it. Just reading this paragraph from the book Fly By Night, by Frances Harding, it kind of makes me think that she might be a fun person to be around, because of the humor in this writing. I really enjoyed this paragraph.

Prince of Foxes

Original Paragraph:
The man expressed himself like a courtier; there was no doubt of that. His accent piqued Este's curiosity.
"Where do you come from?"
"From Savoy, mighty lord."
"And are all savoiardi like you: hideous, villians, traitors, and imbeciles?"

~~~

This excerpt makes me want to read more, because you are trying to find out who this person is, and what he looks like. I imagine him ugly, but you would have to read more to find out.

I am going to re-write the last sentence with some new vocabulary words.

"And are all savoiardi like you: scrupulous, assiduous, usupers of the dominion, and imbeciles?

Red=vocabulary words